Husbands, Boyfriends To Go Missing for Next 5 Months

This is the week that most wives, girlfriends and any other female with a emotional attachment to the opposite sex have been dreading.



It's the week where men go through a major transformation and come up missing (at least mentally) for, at maximum, the next five months.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. It is officially football season.

Starting Thursday, the NFL returns with a primetime matchup placing Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers against the defending Super Bowl champions, the Seattle Seahawks. It's the beginning of a season that will last 17 weeks and females, at best, may have four out of seven days to claim the attention of the men they love.

See, football season does something to a man where his entire thought process changes. Before football season, men were more willing to go to the store and pick up the necessary good for the home. During football season, the man is only leaving the couch for restroom emergencies or natural disasters. Men would go to church on their regular schedule with service starting at 10 or 11. During football season, the preference is to attend an early service...especially if you're playing fantasy football.

Photo Courtesy of CNN.com

With the NFL now having games on Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays, ensuring a man heard exactly what you said could get a little more difficult. A man can tune out just about anything going on around him if his team is on television.

To some, it's not fair. However, it's a fairly balanced situation. For women, some shows like Scandal and Real Housewives of Atlanta offer a "Do Not Disturb" buffer during those shows. Granted, those shows are only an hour, but they seem to have multiple seasons that just last forever.

At this stage of the year, if you haven't gained an appreciation or a willingness to learn about football, there's a pretty good chance that these next five months are going to be torture.  May the odds be ever in your favor...